What Do You Fear Most?
by WolfMarauder
Summary: When a boggart takes up residence in the Lupins' wardrobe, they must face their worst fear, an maybe learn something about each other. Rated for gore and morbid thoughts. RLNT Oneshot.


**So this is just yet another oneshot that popped into my head. It takes place after Remus and Tonks get married, but before Tonks get pregnant. Rated for blood, contemplation of suicide, death, etc. Enjoy! Really, give it a chance. None of it is** **too terribly graphic or extreme. On with the story!**

**I now have to share some shocking news with all of you. I don't own Harry Potter. _Gasp!_ Once you all recover from that bombshell, enjoy the story.**

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Boggarts were one creature Nymphadora Tonks believed you became less and less equipped to deal with as you went through life. When she learned about boggarts at thirteen, her greatest fear was a snake. She simply made the snake tie itself in knots and everything was good again. Then as she got older and she became more aware of what her talent could do, her boggart changed. It became a mirror, and the reflection in it was a tall, leggy, curvaceous blonde. It was a morph that she would never willingly choose for herself, but it was the stereotypical dream girl. She could practically hear the hazy reflection of a man in the background say, "Not good enough, not pretty enough." She was shaken the first time she saw the new one, but she had imagined the girl in the mirror with a clown's make-up and she walked away a wiser person.

Tonks was twenty-five now, and had not met a boggart since that day. She knew her greatest fear had changed because she no longer feared losing herself to a man. She was married to a wonderful man who never asked her to be anything more than what she was. He said she was beautiful without any morph at all. He was her light in the darkness, and losing him was unthinkable. She was relatively sure that her boggart would have something to do with that. That is why, after a sleepless night of listening to her husband scream and howl in pain during his transformation, she was not eager to take on the boggart that had settled itself into Remus' wardrobe. She was still winded from half-carrying him up two sets of stairs and stiff from sitting outside the basement door all night. She decided she would just leave it until her lunch break and get Remus some clothes from the laundry in the meantime.

Carefully as she could, Dora helped Remus into a soft pair of pajamas and woke him up enough for him to take his potions. When she was ready to leave, she pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I've got to go to work, sweetheart, but I will be back at lunch to check up on you, okay?" He gave a garbled murmur to indicate he heard and understood. At least, that is what she thought it meant. "Oh, and don't open the wardrobe. There is a boggart in there but I can't deal with it until I get back, okay? Did you hear me, Remus?" There were more garbled noises, so Dora took that as a yes. "I'll see you in a few hours. Love you." She set a glass of water, a chocolate bar, and an extra pain potion on the side table. Satisfied that her husband had all he needed to sleep through noon, she left for work.

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Remus woke up shivering. He reached out to pull Dora—his wife can you believe it!—closer. His eyes snapped open when he found the bed empty. Light streamed through the window. He stretched and sharp pain coursed through his body. That was when he remembered. The full moon was last night; his first full moon with Dora in the house, a full moon he did not have wolfsbane for. Remus began to panic and he wanted nothing more than to see his wife safe. He tried to reassure himself that she was probably just at work. After all, there was water, a pain potion, and a bar of chocolate on the side table. The problem was, he couldn't know for sure. He couldn't remember anything. He also knew that checking on her at the Ministry would be a bad idea. Anything that drew attention to the fact she married him would hurt her career. He would just have to wait. Maybe she would come home for lunch.

He shivered again and decided to get a jumper to pull over his pajamas. It was not as nice as curling up with his wife, but it would have to do. As he drew closer, he noticed whimpering noises emanating from the wardrobe. He stumbled to the door and pulled it open with as much force as he could manage.

His heart fell to his feet. Dora's body fell out onto the floor. Her eyes were wide and staring. Her beautiful face was marred by deep scratches. Blood soaked her torn nightgown from a gruesome wound on her neck. More scratches covered her arms. A particularly vicious bite tore into her arm, as if she had raised it in defense.

Remus fell to his knees beside her. "Dora," he begged, "Please, wake up! I need you, Dora. Please... wake up." She did not stir. Remus cradled her in his arms and pressed his fingers to her bloodied throat. Try as he might, he could not find a pulse. He clutched her body close, her still chest pressed against his chest that had the audacity to keep rising and falling with each broken sob.

He had killed her. His kind and beautiful Dora was dead, and it was his fault. How could he believe that he was fit for human companionship, especially from one as pure and good as her? He had been unspeakably selfish, and she had paid the price. She had trusted Remus with everything and gave him all she had. All he gave her was a horrific death.

No punishment could be severe enough for this, the worst sin imaginable. Soon, someone would notice she never showed up to work and come to check on her. They would knock on the door, and after realizing she wasn't going to answer, they would break in. Then, they would find them and see what he had done to the one who meant more to him than anyone else, the woman brave enough to dare to love a monster and loyal enough to stay by his side. He hoped whoever came looking wasn't from the Order. He knew he should hope for that because he shouldn't want their friends to see her mangled body, but that wasn't it at all. His reasons were much more selfish. An Order member may try to help him. A Ministry person would attempt to give him what he deserved. He hoped they didn't kill him or give him the Kiss. That was too light a penalty for this. Deep in his heart though, he prayed for a fast execution. The thought of sitting in Azkaban living this moment over and over again until her dead body was all he could remember of her was too much to bear. He had no doubt that he would lose his mind within a week. He deserved that, though. He deserved to rot in a cell for this. He didn't deserve to cherish her, even in his thoughts.

Maybe if he acted aggressive, the responding Auror would kill him on the spot. He thought suicide by Auror was cowardly and would have been horrified if anyone had used Dora to end their life, but it would keep him out of Azkaban and away from dementors that would steal his memory of her. What he wanted and what he deserved were very different things. His attempts at being a normal wizard proved that. Any minute now, they would come and his cursed existence would end. He lifted the wards and waited for them with his Dora cradled in his arms.

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Tonks ran up the front steps of the tiny cottage she now shared with Remus. She had just under an hour to check on Remus, feed him lunch, and get rid of a boggart. If she was lucky, she would have time to feed herself lunch. Running late was not an option. Since she married Remus, the Ministry had been looking for reasons to sack her; she didn't intend to give them one.

She was half way up the stairs to their bedroom when she heard sobbing. Wand at the ready, she crept up the stairs silently and opened the door a crack. The scene before her was... unsettling, to say the least. Tonks could not think of a word to describe how disturbing it was to see her husband crying over her viciously mauled body. The sight sent her mind reeling. After what felt like forever, she snapped back to reality. How could she forget about the boggart? "Remus?" she called in an attempt to pull him away from the fake corpse.

He looked up at her in confusion. "A ghost, Dora? Why?" His voice was broken and desperate.

She approached him carefully and cradled his face in her hands. "I'm not a ghost. See, Remus, I am solid. The thing in your arms is a boggart. Do you remember me telling you about it before I left?"

As if on cue, the boggart-body vanished and the boggart began to rearrange itself to face Tonks. She drew a breath and stepped between Remus and the boggart to face her worst fear. When the boggart materialized into Bellatrix, she was surprised. She did not fear her aunt more than any other death eater. She despised her more because she killed Sirius, and she would be an idiot if she was not wary of her, but she was not her worst fear. It all made sense suddenly when the boggart looked into her eyes. Quickly, she envisioned a flock of birds nesting in the Boggart-Bellatrix's hair. Tonks laughed, but it felt dry and hallow as it left her throat.

"Riddikilus!" she cried, and the boggart disappeared with a loud _crack_!

Breathlessly, she fell to the floor beside Remus. It was not until he put her arms around her that she realized she was shaking.

"Bellatrix?" he questioned. She shook her head. "What was it then?"

"It would appear that you are not the only one who fears your very nature," she said, "I'm sure you have noticed madness runs in my family. Maybe we are all just a hair's breadth away from snapping."

He pulled her tighter, ignoring the pain it caused in his wounds. "You are nothing like her," he assured her.

"I tell you that you're not like Greyback all the time. You should know better than anyone that reassurances only count for so much. A fear is a fear. I'm fine." She kissed him on the lips, effectively ending the discussion. "Let's get you back to bed, shall we? I'm sure you need another pain potion." She let him lean heavily on her as they both staggered up from the floor and to the bed.

When she tried to walk away to find lunch, Remus pulled her back. "Stay," he pleaded. She deliberated for a moment, but kicked off her boots and crawled into bed. Truthfully, she needed his nearness as much as he needed hers in this moment. She knew that as long as she lived, she would never forget her eyes staring back at her from Bellatrix's face.

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**So, watcha think? Leave me a review and let me know! Reviews are LOVE :)**


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